Stu In Progress

The more I wonder, the more I dream, the more I become saddened if hereafter there is nothing, for then nothing really matters, there is no point over and above us that exists in the universe.

Are we merely a function, a result in a algorithm?

If so, how pointless and sad we are.

I don’t want this but can I stop it?

Pregnancy is perhaps one of the most wonderful things that can be. It truly is a miraculous thing. Pregnancy manifests itself as different things but all a concoction of concentration : Love, Protection, Beauty, Faith, Fear and it’s the endurance of ones character to see them through.

i am leaving behind the faith that kept me going on, I see that their is no one to blame it on. weaving through the mix is my mind. looking over my shoulder as I leave – everything looks peaceful. cities collapse, faces stay to haunt me, feeling are watered down by flowing thoughts

I hate people. Generally.

I’m questioning what I really want to do with my life at the moment. I’m questioning what I want from my life. I’m questioning what is essential, what will make me happy. I’m thinking about making a mark, about changing everything.

You must have a thought like this at some point in your life. The real question is I think. how afraid are you to do something?

Beneath the skin,  my soul vibrates with combined intensity of a thousand chanting  thoughts – standing together shoulder by shoulder.  Possessed, my thoughts look above to me as I gaze across. I am Master. I am King. I am everything. I own it all. I stand strong, I care for nothing, I am strong, the most fierce  entity known. I have no equal. I am  Omega. My high feeds me -I feel my force, travel from me, gather around me like a furious swarm.  I am here.  Fear me. I dare you.

What is it to have a full life? is it to enjoy the present, each moment at a time or is it to experiance as much as possible in life?

What’s worse, is it the thought of failure in life, lost love, no love or no life? Sometimes I think the worst thing in this world is hating oneself, because with that as ones motivation and emotion and self realization being the most powerful things in life – one can really mess things up.

I wonder what the world would be like if we never worried or worry was not apart of our daily lives. It almost seems that worrying is what makes our existance. There is nothing that we do that is not base on worry. Everything in life must depend on worry – only perhaps the degrees vary and in varying dictate happiness or sadness, comfort from uncomfort an perhaps more

What hurts the most is leaving people behind.

How I feel infected by this need to do so – pretending that it must be so and I believe it.

Maybe somehow I’ll find out what it means to keep things,